Write the Wrongs

Sunday, August 29, 2004
Mother-Daughter Relationship Blur
Sometimes I feel like the mother and my mum is like my daughter. We've drifted apart over the last few years and it's odd; she used to be my best friend.
She rang me the other night when I was in bed. I missed her call as it was late but she rang back the following morning. She wanted to tell me how much she loves me and was ranting on about how lonely she is and how difficult it is for her. She used this as an excuse as to why she distances herself from me.
I have to choke back my feelings of rejection and isolation through my depression to reassure her and make her feel better. By the end of the call, I'm so weighted down with guilt that I want to curl up and die.
It's a stark reminder to me that I should never have children. It just wouldn't be fair on them to put all my problems on them.

- posted by Kim @ 8/29/2004 02:53:00 pm |

Sunday, August 22, 2004
Holiday Time Over
People came back off holiday. I wish they'd go away again. They make me feel heavy and floopy and sad.

- posted by Kim @ 8/22/2004 07:25:00 pm |

Monday, August 16, 2004
Wasted Week
I've mostly spent this week watching Futurama and Buffy the Vampire Slayer box sets. My fiance is full of a cold and his ears are blocked. I'm getting a sore throat from having to shout to him in order to communicate.

I've decided I want The Slayer's Cross from the first Buffy episode. I also want to live in the year 3000 and to drink 100 coffees like Fry does in the Futurama episode 'Three Hundred Big Boys'. Perhaps I need to get out more.

I like coffee.

- posted by Kim @ 8/16/2004 11:14:00 am |

Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Can I be a princess?
I received my veil today. It was made by a very talented woman in the USA. It really is beautiful. I tried it on with my dress and shoes and although it sounds ridiculous coming from me but I felt like a princess. Maybe on my wedding day I'll actually feel pretty and perhaps I might even look pretty. I won't hold my breath on the latter though.
For veils go to http://www.gothicveils.com

- posted by Kim @ 8/11/2004 07:21:00 pm |

Tuesday, August 10, 2004
What's it supposed to be like?
I've seen so many programs on the television in which people become annoyed with their loved ones for interfering in their wedding plans. My experience has been quite different.
First of all my mother announced that she probably wouldn't be able to come to the date we had in mind. Other people were more concerned about money and where we would live than being happy for us and sharing in our joy.
They don't seem to understand that we are so committed to each other that we are making our future together and it isn't about having a hugely extravagant wedding. We love each other and we aren't going to wait for life to provide us with a future, we want to build it together.
Now it feels as if we're doing it all alone. Nobody seems interested in the plans. I don't expect them to be as excited as we are but it would be nice to have some input or interest.
It's so hard to work all of this out on a budget and I'm not sure of all the things we need. I'm trying my best but it's really getting me down.
I have to think about numbers and food and it almost chokes me to think about how much effort I'm putting in to accommodate members of my family who haven't bothered with me in five years.
I could cut costs and numbers by saying that those people can get lost but that's just not me.
So I envy those people who have too much help for others people. I'd adore having so many people around me who care enough to support me that much.

- posted by Kim @ 8/10/2004 11:37:00 am |

Sunday, August 08, 2004
I look a bit like....

My fantastic stortrooper I've finally aquired enough points on netgoth.org.uk to get one!

- posted by Kim @ 8/08/2004 08:36:00 pm |

Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Books I've read this month - July
This month I've only read two books.

The first book is The Curious Incident of the dog in the night-time by Mark Haddon.
This is a wonderful book about a young boy with Aspergers Syndrome trying to solve the mystery of who killed a local dog. The writer showed incredible empathy with his characters. A beautiful book which pulls at the heart-strings.

The second book is Something at the window is scratching by Roman Dirge.
This book is a mixture of poems and drawings. It includes everything from boys who become pumpkins to a devil holding a rabbit, holding a devil holding a rabbit, holding a devil holding a rabbit...
A must for every disturbed boy and girl.

- posted by Kim @ 8/03/2004 07:50:00 pm |

Sunday, August 01, 2004
Hot and bothered
It's a mini heat wave at the moment and I'm melting. Plus my picture hosting is down again. Therefore I cannot be bothered to write about the books I read last month. You'll just have to be patient and wait.
I'm sure you can manage it.

- posted by Kim @ 8/01/2004 05:20:00 pm |

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One Word Review

'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'- Scrumptious
'Mr and Mrs Smith- Banging
Batman Begins- Bats

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Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman


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