Sunday, February 29, 2004
Leisure?
What is this life if, full of stairs,
We have no time to go here or there.
No time to ponder 'wheres' and 'hows'
And think through when and then and nows.
No time to see, the world so crass,
Where people whinge and moan en masse.
No time to see, in their great height,
Skies full of stars, the cities too bright.
No time to turn and take a stance,
And watch our feet, we're in a trance.
No time to wait to find a pan
Enrich our lives with mail of spam.
A poor life this if, full of stairs,
We have no time to go here and there.
Many thanks to William Henry Davies for his wonderful poem, Leisure, which I have now massacred.
- posted by Kim @ 2/29/2004 07:35:00 pm
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Books I've read this month - February
 This month I have only managed to complete one book. The Little Endless Storybook is a delightful tale about the seven incarnations of existence written and illustrated by Jill Thompson based on characters from Neil Gaiman's Sandman series. The story is the quest of Barnabas the dog to find his missing Princess Delirious by visiting her immortal siblings. Although it is a children's book the charming artwork and lighthearted story make it a tale for readers of all ages.
- posted by Kim @ 2/29/2004 12:50:00 pm
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Thursday, February 26, 2004
Parent's Evening
I did my first parent's evening from the teacher's perspective tonight. I can honestly say it felt surreal. First of all they had no desk for me so I sat at the back of the room in a corner with the other 'reject' teachers. I only had one appointment who turned up twenty minutes late so it wasn't really going all that well.
However things perked up a little when the appointment began. I had thought that all of my learners resented me and the difficult subject I teach them, only to find out that this one learner now wanted a career in the area. I hope so much that I had some influence in this even just a fraction of a percent would make me ecstatically happy.
There I was giving advice to people twice my age on how to encourage their daughter. Bizarre!
- posted by Kim @ 2/26/2004 11:37:00 pm
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Monday, February 23, 2004
Sing for you
Always try to find time in the day to sing just for yourself. I can’t guarantee that it will be good, nor can I be sure that it will provide you with gratification. All I can say is that on some level you’ll be glad that you took some time just for you; just to do something for you.
Maybe this is what is missing in society. People persist with their arguments that the problems these days are because of our lack of concern for each other or perhaps that we don’t strive to make altruistic gestures. What if we are simply looking at a symptom rather than the origin of the problem? It’s entirely possible that we have lost the ability to perform charitable acts or function as a social order because we have lost the building blocks. We need to get back to the beginning and relearn how to be benevolent to ourselves.
Perhaps all that is missing in our lives is just to take a little time for ourselves in the madcap chaos that is modern life. So sing I say, just for you and no one else. If we can do that then maybe it will reawaken some lost spirit of humanity.
- posted by Kim @ 2/23/2004 08:45:00 pm
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Sunday, February 22, 2004
Prozac Nation
 Apart from being an incredible book written by an amazing women, I realise now that this is an astounding film. I've been waiting so long to see it and I got it as a gift for Valentine's day. It's not on general release in most countries so the version I received had bizarre subtitles along the bottom, but I soon forget they were there.
The film moved me to tears just like the book. It wasn't all glorified and oh everyone suffers from depression so we all understand each other. It really highlighted what a crippling and isolating problem depression can be. Getting this brief look into someone else's psyche helps me with my own battle.
- posted by Kim @ 2/22/2004 12:32:00 pm
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Saturday, February 21, 2004
Hmm not sure I like that
Not sure that I liked 'A thousand reasons'. Thought I'd try something new though.
- posted by Kim @ 2/21/2004 06:53:00 pm
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A thousand reasons
I can dream a thousand reasons to stop my life right now.
I can breathe a thousand dreams to stay with you as well.
What is right and what is wrong? Where does my truth lie?
A thousand reasons to drown the seasons in a flood of tears.
The future's real and true and lonely but I no longer trust
My own emotions, my own devotions or the sense of lust.
You broke the thousand reasons, locked inside my heart.
For your trust and love and truth I can make a start.
- posted by Kim @ 2/21/2004 06:52:00 pm
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Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Laptop Mania
 I got a loan from the bank and my LEA sorted out a student loan so I was feeling flush. Now I'm such a happy bunny because I bought a fabulous new laptop.
It's a Sony FR415M and I love it. It's going to be the biggest help ever in my teaching and general Uni work.
P.S. Paul where's your website? I appear to have lost the link :(
- posted by Kim @ 2/18/2004 01:29:00 pm
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Tuesday, February 17, 2004
New Hair = Ick
Tried a new hairdressers yesterday. I normally hate the hairdressers, they are usually snotty and condescending or don't listen to what I want. The one I tried yesterday was the latter.
I said that I wanted a choppy bob that I could pull out at the sides and make messy-ish. What I got was all my hair hacked off at the back and the sides at different lengths but very sleek. I look like a boy.
I have a skin condition too and this cut doesn't hide it *sigh*
Plus they charged me £10 more than their price list for a cut and blow. They didn't wash my hair, just sprayed it with water, so there was NO need to blow-dry it. I must have 'mug' tattooed on my forehead
Think I'll have a go at hacking at it myself next time. Any tips on how to do my own hair would be greatly appreciated.
- posted by Kim @ 2/17/2004 09:56:00 pm
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Sunday, February 15, 2004
A personality test
Waaah! You're so LOVABLE! Everybody likes you,
because you're a great person to have around
and it's always happy about everything.
congrats! and...can I hug you??
Try it for yourself
brought to you by Quizilla
- posted by Kim @ 2/15/2004 07:42:00 pm
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Red Nails and Rolling
I painted my toe nails red last night which I haven't done in a very long time. I really rather enjoyed it, I think that it was a little therapeutic spending time on myself. I feel all pretty when I look at my feet too, which is honestly bizarre for me as I'm not a girly girl.
Found this blog rolling thing on my random blog surfing the other day. It's a great new toy I like it a lot. Many thanks to Emma who I don't know but who had it on her site. So thanks for the link and for the comment.
- posted by Kim @ 2/15/2004 03:39:00 pm
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Saturday, February 14, 2004
Valentine from my love
 Despite my grumpiness my love still got me the most beautiful card. Thank you my sweet! I'm sorry for my mood, I just can't help myself sometimes. Love you more than I can say. Then, now, always. Promise!
- posted by Kim @ 2/14/2004 09:30:00 pm
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Grumpy and me
I'm sat here with Grumpy the Care Bear. He won't smile or laugh but I know he loves me, I've just got to give him as many cuddles as I can muster. He reminds me that no matter how grumpy we get, other people still love us. That's perhaps the most important lesson I could learn at present.
- posted by Kim @ 2/14/2004 09:23:00 pm
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Friday, February 13, 2004
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
Everything niggles and everything bugs. Can't seem to think coherently. I keep being caught up in the horrors of the past, they have a terrible hold on me. Memories flood in and I feel them as acutely as I did at the time. It rises up in my throat like bile. I can't talk, I can't breathe and I can't scream.
What's wrong with me? What is wrong with me?
- posted by Kim @ 2/13/2004 08:14:00 pm
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Thursday, February 12, 2004
I am a moon monster
Well not really, but it feels like it sometimes.
Things I wish:
I had the moon monster T-shirt
I could be happy
I could make other people happy
My headache would go (9 days old and going strong)
I had more energy
Not a fully comprehensive list but it's enough.
- posted by Kim @ 2/12/2004 03:49:00 pm
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Sunday, February 08, 2004
Blackness
I wander in the dark unable to sleep.
Creeping silently and weeping.
The darkness parts to reveal an entity heading towards me,
Blacker than the night, more dense more real.
Like a mist but thick and whole
It floats towards me.
I feel it inside of me; it's me and I am it.
No need to run, no fear nor want.
Inevitability.
As it encases my body I realise that this is me,
This is my destiny, the darkness
"Am I now to be complete?" my mind cries out
Yet nothing escapes the vast density of the blackness.
It smothers me and I smile a smile with no humour
A smile with no life.
I'm gone but I'm still here.
When I wake you are there
I am empty yet filled with the blackest void.
Don't touch me please.
I can't! I won't!
No more
I won't let it take you like it has taken me.
You're too good and pure and light to carry so much darkness.
- posted by Kim @ 2/08/2004 01:42:00 pm
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Sunday, February 01, 2004
Books I've read this month - January
- posted by Kim @ 2/01/2004 03:53:00 pm
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